Quotes...

[NeoN]

"I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." - Robert McCloskey

"A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election." - Bill Vaughan

"Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish." - Euripides

[NeoN]

"There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president." - Kurt Vonnegut

"He knows all about art, but he doesn't know what he likes." - James Thurber

"I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it." - Thomas Jefferson

"I like life. It's something to do." - Ronnie Shakes

[NeoN]

"The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all." - H. L. Mencken

"The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you'll grow out of it." - Doris Day

"Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president." - Johnny Carson

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones." - Albert Einstein

[NeoN]

"I think age is a very high price to pay for maturity." - Tom Stoppard

"The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers." - Scott Adams

"The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can." - Margo Kaufman

"Perhaps in time the so-called Dark Ages will be thought of as including our own." - Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

[NeoN]

"Man always gets less than he demands from life." - Jack London

"When a true genius appears in this world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him." - Jonathan Swift

"We need a president who's fluent in at least one language." - Buck Henry

"I have often depended on the blindness of strangers." - Adrienne E. Gusoff

[NeoN]

"Do the stars gaze back? Now that's a question." - Narrator, Stardust

"Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner." - Douglas Adams

"I can think of nothing less pleasurable than a life devoted to pleasure." - John D. Rockefeller

"As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it." - Dick Cavett

"Democracy is the name we give the people whenever we need them." - Marquis de Flers Robert and Arman de Caillavet

[NeoN]

"There is still a difference between something and nothing, but it is purely geometrical and there is nothing behind the geometry." - Martin Gardner

"For most of history, Anonymous was a woman." - Virginia Woolf

"We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by." - Will Rogers

"I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out." - Steven Wright

[NeoN]

"One should as a rule respect public opinion in so far as is necessary to avoid starvation and to keep out of prison, but anything that goes beyond this is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny, and is likely to interfere with happiness in all kinds of ways." - Bertrand Russell

"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn." - Alvin Toffler

"People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure." - Russell Baker

"Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committee meetings." - George F. Will

[NeoN]

"Advice to writers: Sometimes you just have to stop writing. Even before you begin." - Stanislaw J. Lec

"Aristotle was famous for knowing everything. He taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons." - Will Cuppy

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." - Soren Kierkegaard

[NeoN]

"Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children." - George Bernard Shaw

"I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars." - Fred Allen

"The problem with political jokes is they get elected." - Henry Cate VII

"Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long." - Ogden Nash

[NeoN]

"Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe." - H. G. Wells

"If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much." - Donald H. Rumsfeld

"You get fifteen democrats in a room, and you get twenty opinions." - Senator Patrick Leahy

"Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it." - Woody Allen

[NeoN]

"I want more and I know I shouldn't." - Anakin, Star Wars Episode 3

"How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live." - Henry David Thoreau

"If we were not all so interested in ourselves, life would be so uninteresting that none of us would be able to endure it." - Arthur Schopenhauer

"I was the kid next door's imaginary friend." - Emo Phillips

"Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion." - Ambrose Bierce

[NeoN]

"It is a wise father that knows his own child." - William Shakespeare

"What is the difference between unethical and ethical advertising? Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public; ethical advertising uses truth to deceive the public." - Vilhjalmur Stefansson

"It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information." - Oscar Wilde

"Is there life before death?" - Graffito

[NeoN]

"The graveyards are full of indispensable men." - Charles de Gaulle

"Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." - Lucille Ball

"From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it." - Groucho Marx

[NeoN]

"Don't try to solve serious matters in the middle of the night." - Philip K. Dick

"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good." - Samuel Johnson

"We're not lost. We're locationally challenged." - John M. Ford