Quotes...

[NeoN]

Post any and all awesome quotes here. My only grip is plz be sure not to post any offensive language (hold the shift-key and run your fingers thru the numbers if you have to - eg. ^$#@#).

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"It's so much easier to suggest solutions when you don't know too much about the problem." - Malcolm Forbes

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The Bart Wall

"I will not say 'Springfield' just to get applause."
"I will not say 'Springfield' just to get applause."
"I will not say 'Springfield' just to get applause."
"I will not say 'Springfield' just to get applause."
"I will not say 'Springfield' just to..."

[GrahamZA]

"If you're gonna give the guy pencils for drinking his wine, you're talking about, you know, magic pencils. You draw a cow, the cow comes to life – those kind of pencils!"
Bernard - Black Books

[Farah]

lol Trust NeoN to start the quotes thread again

Rules for a happy life:

Do not try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig. (Thanks A Menvell)

Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.

Life is simpler when you plough around the stumps.

The trouble with a milk cow is she won't stay milked.

Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads. (This is a modern adaptation of a quote by Oscar Wilde: "Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more." - Thanks I Mac. Additionally an often-misquoted passage from the Bible, Proverbs chapter 25, verses 21-22 suggests a similar notion: "If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink: For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the Lord shall reward thee." - Thanks L Nicole. The relevance of the Biblical quote depends somewhat on your interpretation of whether it's vengeful or loving to heap coals of fire onto someone's head. There are some who insist this is meant in a loving caring way. I'm not so sure. The passage incidentally is part of the proverbs of Solomon, said in the Bible to have been copied out by the men of Hezekiah, the King of Judah.)

Don't corner something meaner than you.

Don't wrestle with pigs: you'll get all muddy and the pigs will love it. (Based on a quote attributed to Cyrus S Ching, 1876-1967, US industrialist and labour-relations pioneer, "I learned long ago never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.")

Most of the stuff people worry about never happens. (Probably based on an original quote attributed to Leo Buscaglia: Ninety per-cent of what we worry about never happens, yet we worry and worry. What a horrible way to go through life! What a horrible thing to do to your colon!"

[NeoN]

@Farah-chan - hehe...

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"Most advances in science come when a person for one reason or another is forced to change fields." - Peter Borden

"Her virtue was that she said what she thought, her vice that what she thought didn't amount to much." - Peter Ustinov

"There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause." - P. J. O'Rourke

[NeoN]

"If something is to hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV." - Homer, The Simpsons

"There is a great deal of difference between an eager man who wants to read a book and the tired man who wants a book to read." - G. K. Chesterton

"By the time I'd grown up, I naturally supposed that I'd be grown up." - Eve Babitz

"Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself." - A. H. Weiler

[Cybernet]

No matter how the wind howls, the mountain cannot bow to it. .... Mulan

[Farah]

Ooooh, remember that quote, epic movie, Mulan.

[NeoN]

"It's the decisions you make when you have no time to make them that define who you are." - The Master, Pure Pwnage

"Behind every great fortune there is a crime." - Honore de Balzac

[Cybernet]

"We all go a little crazy sometimes" 

Psycho

[Farah]

. . . "So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide... ... All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us..."

Still one of my favorite quotes from Gandalf, in Lord of the Rings 1
 

[Cybernet]

"each day's a gift and not a given right "

If Today Was Your Last Day - Nickelback 

[NeoN]

"Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation." - Kin Hubbard

"I know nothing about sex because I was always married." - Zsa Zsa Gabor

"The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal." - H. L. Mencken

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Marge: "Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday."
Homer: "Woo-hoo! Four-day weekend!"
~ The Simpsons

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The Bart Wall

"'The President did it' is not an excuse."
"'The President did it' is not an excuse."
"'The President did it' is not an excuse."
"'The President did it' is not an excuse."
"'The President did it' is not..."

[Farah]

...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.
~Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal.
~H. L. Mencken

Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.
~Kin Hubbard

[Shard]

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagle!" - John Dorian (a.k.a. JD)

[Cybernet]

"Not the mama" - Junior 

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